Thursday, February 19, 2015

Is Fighting Healthy?

I have had people tell me that they never fight with each other..... I look at them and think..... Really???

My wife and I have been married for over 27 years and we fight. I mean there are times we get into some Real House Wife, Throw the Table, Teresa fights. I believe fighting is healthy and is vital for any relationship We need not be afraid of them, but embrace them and use them to better our relationship. 

Last Wednesday my wife and I had a Perfect Storm fights. Usually she or I do not want to argue so one of us either gives in or just walks away from the other. We will let the other one "Be Grumpy" and in about an hour or so we are OK. But last Wednesday was a Perfect Storm type of fights. We were both grumpy and did not want to give in. 

We started fighting, trying to prove our points like we were in some court of law. The fight went on for a couple of hours, it was ugly. I was ashamed for the way I acted. It lasted all night, I finally went up into the guys room and she went into the bedroom. She came up to apologize, but I was a jerk and did not accept it. She went to bed, and I crawled in about an hour later.

We woke up still mad, we did not talk much that day, we did not get into it again, but the day was weird. Then the next day I came to her and told her I was really sorry and that I did not want to let it get that bad again. The fight was truly over. Wow, that was a bad one! But there was a lot of good that came from it.  Fighting is not bad as long and you grow together. First, I think you need to know how each other fight.

Guys are funny when they fight, they can punch each other out, then two minutes later they are having a beer and best friends again. Women fight differently, they hold a grudge, I have found it can last for hours. I just want the fight to be over with, they have to "Cool Down." I find while they are cooling down I start to become mad again. Learn how your partner fights, it really helps. 

When the fight was over with I told her I never want to do that again. Yes, we will probably do it again, but I will try. I asked her want can I do to help her when I get that grumpy again? She asked me what she can do when she reaches that point again. We came to an agreement and we are both going to try what each other suggested. 

After you fight do you talk about it? If you do not talk about it and just fight over and over again you are like a car stuck in the mud, spinning its wheels. You need to let go of the ego and really make a commitment to better yourselves. 

Do not be afraid of fighting, but embrace it as a necessary part of any relationship. Work to improve yourselves and grow together.

Closing Prayer
Dear Jesus,
There are times that I am selfish and grumpy. Instead of trying to working our fights out I pick and try to hurt the other person. I know that we are going to fight, but Lord I ask that you put in me a heart of peace and a willingness to work things out for the better.
Thank You Jeusus

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